life recently.

so senior year. my first period is suuuuuper boring, except the rowdy boys in there actually make it entertaining. second period i have nobody to talk to, and my teacher who thinks he's so funny and thinks he can actually teach is freakin annoying. and it doesn't help because i suck at pre-cal and so does my teacher. sheeesh. 3/4th period is actually alright, the teacher is really boring and monotone but whatever. video productions is cool. 6th period is by far the best, because its the best teacher and the environment is just really chill.

but anyway, the other part of being a senior, tryna figure out what i'm gonna do with my life and where imma go to college & such. it's reaaaaallly stressing me out. & it doesn't help that i think i might not like him anymore. i dont know, like it's not his fault. but i find it weird that a few weeks or like a month or so ago, i was going crazy because i wasn't able to see him everyday like i was during the summer. but then now i see him and i'm just like... okay. it's not like i hate him, it's just that i just see him as a friend status now. like i don't feel the same way i used to when i would be around him.

i don't know what i'm supposed to do at this point. because i'm not sure if it's for sure that i don't like him anymore. because i don't wanna tell him & then it ends up that i still DO like him and it's like all pointless. but if it's for sure that i dont like him, i know i gotta tell him. but what the heck am i supposed to tell him? we're not even really together technically... but it's gonna be super weird because now i'm gonna have to get used to having the "single" life again. even though i've been single all this time. yeaaaaaahhh. complicated crap.

i know this shouldn't even be on my mind, but man, who the heck am i supposed to go to senior ball with now? i've been waiting all this time to finally get to go to a dance with him. but then when i'm finally gonna go, i don't even like him anymore. =/ but then again, brightside, i could find someone that will actually be able to smile in pictures.... ugh, i'm such a mean person.

whateverrrrrr, life goes on. god has my whole life planned for me. i just wonder where my future husband is in this world..