epiphany.

relationships consist of ups and downs. it's not always going to be happy times. there are gonna be times where you might not like the person as much as you did a month ago, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you don't like them anymore. maybe you just got used to the fact that the two of you have your own lives and don't have as much time for the other anymore. it's not a bad thing, because at least you have your priorities in order.

i may have been thinking that i didn't like him anymore because of the fact that i didn't get that special feeling whenever i was near him recently. but it's probably just because i don't NEED to see him as much as i felt like i needed before because of the fact that i'm occupied with other more important things.

so right now, our "friendship" is at a low... but it's not a bad thing. because it just makes us stronger <3 id="gwProxy" type="hidden">

kanye

i decided to express my anger towards him here because of the fact that nobody will find this. ahah. but apparently he said sorry to taylor on the jay leno show or whatever. and saying how hes gonna take a break from his career or something. and then he used his mom dying as an excuse. EXCUSE ME. i think i should know & many other people would know that just because your mom dies doesnt mean that gives you an excuse to act like a jerk to people. i hope he doesnt become successful anymore bc he doesnt deserve it, and taylor swift actually does.

life recently.

so senior year. my first period is suuuuuper boring, except the rowdy boys in there actually make it entertaining. second period i have nobody to talk to, and my teacher who thinks he's so funny and thinks he can actually teach is freakin annoying. and it doesn't help because i suck at pre-cal and so does my teacher. sheeesh. 3/4th period is actually alright, the teacher is really boring and monotone but whatever. video productions is cool. 6th period is by far the best, because its the best teacher and the environment is just really chill.

but anyway, the other part of being a senior, tryna figure out what i'm gonna do with my life and where imma go to college & such. it's reaaaaallly stressing me out. & it doesn't help that i think i might not like him anymore. i dont know, like it's not his fault. but i find it weird that a few weeks or like a month or so ago, i was going crazy because i wasn't able to see him everyday like i was during the summer. but then now i see him and i'm just like... okay. it's not like i hate him, it's just that i just see him as a friend status now. like i don't feel the same way i used to when i would be around him.

i don't know what i'm supposed to do at this point. because i'm not sure if it's for sure that i don't like him anymore. because i don't wanna tell him & then it ends up that i still DO like him and it's like all pointless. but if it's for sure that i dont like him, i know i gotta tell him. but what the heck am i supposed to tell him? we're not even really together technically... but it's gonna be super weird because now i'm gonna have to get used to having the "single" life again. even though i've been single all this time. yeaaaaaahhh. complicated crap.

i know this shouldn't even be on my mind, but man, who the heck am i supposed to go to senior ball with now? i've been waiting all this time to finally get to go to a dance with him. but then when i'm finally gonna go, i don't even like him anymore. =/ but then again, brightside, i could find someone that will actually be able to smile in pictures.... ugh, i'm such a mean person.

whateverrrrrr, life goes on. god has my whole life planned for me. i just wonder where my future husband is in this world..

ONE TREE HILL.

so, last summer i think it was.. or like, around this time i started watching one tree hill because my friend made me. so i caught up really quickly and easily fell in love with the show. and just recently i had finally caught up and was able to watch the episodes while it aired on tv. but now, i found out that chad & hilarie are not gonna be in the next OTH season. WTHECK. you don't understand how mad i am about this! right when i catch up they do this! AGH!!!!

just wanted to vent somewhere. xD

hilarious .

its funny how people say they're done with a holes and not gonna fall for people like that anymore, when it's ALREADY happened to them 15 times, and i'm pretty sure they haven't "learned their lesson" like they claimed they have. its just so funny to me. it's pretty easy to not fall for them anymore. just don't hang with them. don't waste your time on stupid guys. my gracious.

recently.

man, so since we're going to the philippines in less than a month.. we were gonna try to get to ASAP but too bad there's no seats left unless we're active bigatin members. AGH. so sad.. but there could be a chance we run into them in the airport bc they're coming to the US the same time as us. HAHA.

ummmm, dude i had hecka stuff to talk about in this blog. but i forgot. GRAWR. okay , i'll come back later... nobody reads this anyway =]

my favorite song at the moment.

i don't understand how i just found out about her .. and this song. i found out from kathleen badar when she covered it. but danggg, it's such a good song! =]

reason why

i love nick jonas :
"it doesn't matter if life is pulling you down, with christ you have everything" -nick jonas.

many people love nick for how cute he is, and that's the end of it. yes, he really is, but there's so much more beyond that fact. he is a down to earth person that has values and is determined to keep it even if people criticize him and he won't care anyway because as he said, with christ you have everything. he also has diabetes, but that doesn't stop him from living the great life god has blessed him with. he helps to encourage other people with diabetes too and also has his own foundation. and then of course the more obvious reason why i like him is because he can sing, drum, play guitar & piano, and is a songwriter. also, i don't know why he always calls him the serious one, i mean of course he has his serious side, but he also has a craaaazy funny side. sometimes he's funnier than joe, he just likes to hold it back for some reason. he's such a great rolemodel & encouragement. <3 i had more reasons in my head, but that's pretty much most of it. ;D

edit: 03/03/09;; OMGOSH, not to mention not just nick, but kevin & joe included, PLUS their whole family. they are SO caring, they have such a busy schedule and they hardly ever have time to themselves or just have to time to sleep. but they make time to make other people's days:

hard..

to try and be happy for two people i care SO MUCH ABOUT. when i know they're totally off the path of reality. they're both smart people, no doubt, but for some reason they're both acting so blind. i know they're both like, omg i'm so in love i can't stop talking to them, i wanna spend every waking moment with them and alla that crap, but seriously, one of them are beginning to neglect the more important things. starting to get MORE attitude and then like not even keeping his priorities, even though i warned him before this happened. it just bugs me that HE had to fall into the same path that everyone else did. i honestly with all my heart thought he was gonna be the exception, but i was wrong. i keep trying so hard to keep just shaking it off, like dirt off my shoulder. but it's so hard because i love them both, but they're both annoying the crap out of me.

nick j is off the chain.

he really is. HAHA. so yes, i might sound like a crazy "omg, youre a jonas brothers fanatic" girl, but i'm really not as extreme as some people are. but yes, nick is my favorite and it's cool because my birthday is a day before his. not that that matters or anything. so i dont even know, but i was watching the jonas brothers today on ellen, and i just realized that if i were to ever be blessed enough to meet nick jonas & talk to him for awhile, i'd probably like.. faint. but i'd be the happiest person, in the world. i really would.... sigh, if only.


on the bright side, it's alright because i've already met jesse mccartney. and he's the next best thing ;D

valentine's day

i have to admit, it was reaaaallly weird having a TON of my aunts & uncles poppin' in & out of the house, while i'm upstairs with tj & my cousins.. and then shanice & dj. but it wasn't that bad, because it's not like we were doing anything bad that i had to hide from them. all we pretty much did was sit around playing mario kart, talking & stuff. it wasn't really anything special, but it was alright. =]


yknow, just spending time & hanging out is goood with me ;D

and i just realized that food nicknames are hecka cute. i'd rather be called a sweet tasting food than the regular babe, baby, hun etc.

sharon is my marshmellow & mariah's my donut.

i personally think marshmellow sounds cuter. but whatever. haha.

why?

why is it that a lot of guys named "michael" are so cute? HAHAHAH, like michael COPON. yeaaah, thats right. michael copon. that guy that was in a season of one tree hill, he was also on a few episodes of that's so raven. and he's BEAUTIFUL. ahah, anyways, well i tried adding him on facebook right, but then i guess he has too many friends, so he MESSAGED ME, telling me to add his other page. and i thought it was just gonna be a fan page yknow, but it looks legit.


and oh man, that really made my day. i love when i get to meet or communicate with celebs. including those youtube celebs. =]

filipino father.

so it's funny how when you ask your filipino father for help on homework, they'll take foreverrrrr trying to explain it and then you end up frustrated because they made things more difficult than it really was, which results to you not ever asking for help from him again. and then it's even FUNNIER when you're doing something and then they try helping you when you don't need help and they just frustrate you again, because this time you didn't even ask but they act like they know everything. it makes me laugh.

because my bro is doing a science project or whatever and my dad's all telling him to get graph paper and all this crap that he doesn't need. so they were both like arguing downstairs. ohman.



filipinos.

rainbow - south border

my theme song of the day. even though i still haven't seen a rainbow yet. well today was pretty boring. just the regular stuff going on. oh, but it was take your parent to school day so there were a couple parents in each class. nothing too crazy though. ew but for spanish we have a sub for the rest of the week and she's such a strict sub. it's horrible. but it was okay, because all we were doing today was making valentine cards and we had to write in spanish and then show it to her for credit on the assignment. i made mine for my number 1 valentine: my snoopy raisin-lover marshmellow. HEHE. too bad she doesn't have a cool name for me like that. and then in photo we were doing nothing .. again. but it started to get reaaaally dark and scary and people were like omg, a tornado's coming! but is that really likely.. to have a tornado in california? then it starts pouring and the bell rings and school is over so everyone comes out of their classrooms and then you hear hecka people go AHHHHHHHHH! it was so funny and people are running and hecka rushing. it was a pretty funny sight if you ask me. thank god it's over. but i'm kinda sad that there's no rainbow. because according to south border:

"there's a rainbow always after the rain."
:D


edit 05:12 pm ;;
so now the sun is heecka shining and its just sprinkling. but there's STILL no rainbow. =[

LOL.

so i pretty much just wanted to make a blogspot just so i can comment on aj rafael's blog. funny. but i guess i'll blog on here too. but i'll still blog on my OLDSCHOOL xanga. ;D
and yknow, new year, new blog site? i guess? haha, whateverr. this one is gonna be more private because nobody knows it. =]